How to Manage Toddler Tantrums Effectively

5 Proven Approaches for Behavioral Management for a Child in Tantrum Stage

There is no cause for alarm when your toddler suddenly hits the floor in a spectacular show of screams, kicks, and the occasional toss of a few toys. Tantrums are thus a given, and tantrums and screaming are quite normal for toddlers (1 and a half to 4 years). For the most part, it is a child’s expression of an emotional state, mostly frustration, when he had not yet been able to develop sufficient vocabulary to put across his needs verbally.

Tantrums are to be expected and accepted in our normal development. But what children learn and how parents react is the more important matter here. One can reduce tantrums if the right strategies are applied while at the same teaching the child how to slowly start managing their own emotions.

Reasons behind tantrums

• Hunger and fatigue: An empty stomach or a missed nap can lead to a tantrum over very trivial issues.
• Limited linguistic means: At times, a child is unable to express his needs verbally or express his anger; and as such, tantrum outbursts come to the rescue.
• Need for independence: The child often wants to convey that “I will do it by myself.” An opposite resolution usually finds his temper flaring into tantrums.
• Overstimulation: The child can, at times, feel overwhelmed by noise or a crowd and consequently throw that voice to the winds in tears and screams.
• Getting attention: Some kids simply learn that throwing a tantrum can be an immediate means of getting an attention fix from their parents.

What To Do During A Tantrum?

1. Remain Patient and Calm

The child ought to learn from your reaction regarding a tantrum. If you are mad, it is likely that he will become angrier. Breathe, unwind, and speak to him in a gentle voice.

Example: If the child is crying for chocolate and started throwing tantrums in the store, you may gently say: “I can see you are wanting chocolate right now, but we are getting fruits.”

2. Acknowledge Feelings

Acknowledge the fact that the kid feels slighted; you have just made him feel a little calmer.

Say: “It seems you are very angry because you did not find the toy.”

3. Redirect Attention

The young children have a rather short attention span. New toy, song, or changing the settings like going to another room or lobby can help to divert a child’s attention from his eruption.

Example: While in the park, do not tell him, “You’re off the swing.” Instead, get him distracted with “Let’s go slide!”

4. Give Choices

Offering choices gives the child some control over their own actions which minimizes the likelihood that they will throw a tantrum.

Example: “Do you want juice out of the red cup or the blue cup?”

5. Time-In or Time-Out

• Time-in: For the smaller child, just sitting nearby and helping him calm down.
• Time-out: Suitable for slightly older toddlers, sending them to a quiet corner for one or two minutes—not as punishment but as a chance to settle down.

What to Do After a Tantrum?

• Explain: Whenever the child has calmed down, explain in a few sentences why his behavior was inappropriate. “It’s not okay to hit. Next time when you’re angry, just use your words.”
• Praise: Praise immediately when the child exerts self-control or demonstrates good behavior. “I am proud of you for not throwing the toy.”

How to Prevent Tantrums

1. Satisfy basic needs: Hunger, sleep, and fatigue are the main causes of tantrums. Feed and rest on time.
2. Create a routine: Children are less likely to get angry for no reason when they are accustomed to a certain schedule.
3. Identify triggers: If your child throws a tantrum in the toy section of a store, avoid that aisle, or prep him before you go.
4. Give limited choices: Instead of denying options with a “no,” let the child choose from 2 or 3 options you are comfortable with.
5. Shower with love and attention: Sometimes tantrums are simply for attention. Ensure your child gets positive attention throughout the day.

When Should You Start Worrying?

Most children will go through quite a few tantrums before they are about 3–3½ years. But you should consult a specialist if a child:

• Continues to throw tantrums after age 4.
• Inflicts harm on himself during a tantrum or hurts another child.
• Has prolonged tantrums at high frequency with alarming consequences.

Concluding Remarks

Tantrums are just normal phases in the development of humans. There is no way of stopping them; however, a proper reaction to tantrums will teach a child patience, self-control, and communication. The major task for a parent would be to try to remain calm; stick to the limits with consistency, and then give rewards for good behavior. Do remember that each tantrum is a learning opportunity for the child, and a time to practice your calm!